The Power of Love in Montessori Environments

An often undiscussed difference between Montessori and traditional schools

More Than What We Can See

What is the true difference between a traditional and a Montessori classroom?

On the surface, it might seem obvious.

In a Montessori classroom, students work collectively rather than sitting in rows. The adult is the guide on the side rather than the sage on the stage, and learning is active and hands-on rather than passive and lecture-based. There are materials which are developmentally appropriate, and each classroom has mixed ages.

All these statements are true; they are critical components of a Montessori environment.

However, something that deserves critical examination is the relational work and love that emerges from meaningful relationships in a Montessori environment. This love is what has kept me in Montessori education, and what drove me away from traditional education.

Maria Montessori wrote that “whenever we touch the child, we touch love. It is a difficult love to define; we all feel it, but no one can describe its roots, or evaluate the immense consequences which flow from it, or gather up its potency for union between people. Despite our differences of race, religion, and of social position, we have felt, during our discussions of the child, a fraternal union growing up between us… Love, like that which we feel for the child, must exist potentially between all people, because human unity does exist and there is no unity without love.”

This love that Montessori describes is not romantic love, but rather a love characterized by deep connection and recognition of each person's humanity.

It is an intangible part of our prepared environments that allows young people and adults to thrive.

In my current practice, I have developed what can only be described as a deep love for the young people I work with. I feel a great sense of devotion to their well-being, which extends beyond what we would expect in a traditional classroom.

When we are away on a break for too long, I miss them. I think often about students who have graduated and are carrying on with their lives elsewhere.

My mentor Pat Ludick will always tell me that our young people, through their relationship with us, will heal us, even without knowing that anything is wrong.

I have found this to be true many times over. It is the relationship between the adult guide and the learner that fosters mutual transformation.

I am not the same person as I was before I became an adolescent guide because of the relationships and love that have transformed me.

In a traditional classroom, such a relationship might be ineffective because the primary goal is to deliver content as efficiently as possible.

If you care about the whole child and have a deep love for their human development, you may not prioritize the acquisition of content over meeting their full needs.

Cultivating Love is a Two-Way Street

This summer I was hiring a math teacher at the Montessori adolescent level. During one of my interviews, a candidate spoke about her ability to support students in understanding math concepts. She had advanced degrees and years of experience as an educator.

However, she stated, "Don't ask me to talk to them about their lives or their hobbies or to talk about my life or personal matters. I don't do that. I'm here to teach math and discuss math, and I'm not going to do anything else."

I was dumbstruck.

I ended the interview and quickly wrote to her, letting her know we were moving forward with other candidates.

To me, this encapsulates the crux of the traditional paradigm.

In that system, which is related to our broader social, political, and economic system of neoliberalism, we are disconnected nodes.

We are not allowed to show up as full people in the traditional paradigm because our whole humanity cannot be measured by a standardized exam. The ways in which we teach and assess in the traditional paradigm are dehumanizing, forcing educators to present fractured versions of ourselves when working with young people.

In contrast, a Montessori environment actively seeks to humanize our work with young people and educators.

We recognize that to create a truly transformational environment that meets the holistic needs of each child, we must elevate the level of humanity within those spaces for all involved.

This uplifting of humanity requires deep relationships and love among young people, as well as between young people and adults.

This love becomes the foundation for the curriculum and pedagogy.

The curriculum lives and breathes among and within the community. It is owned by no one, yet it is a part of everyone, and everyone has a meaningful place.

In such an environment, it doesn't matter what is being studied.

In fact, this is when we see academics thrive and flourish. Students are in a safe place where they can challenge their paradigms, dive into topics that interest them, and be open to being challenged and stretched by their adult guides. They know that the foundation of this environment is not a mandated requirement to achieve a certain test score percentage, but rather a deep love and care for their positive human development.

This does not imply that students are not learning or that they are free to do whatever they want all day. In fact, students learn quite a lot because our brains are hardwired to do so.

When we consider the developmental needs of young people and create an environment that supports those needs and fosters their intrinsic motivation, young people will learn more effectively and at a faster pace than in a traditional "drill and kill" setting.

So how do we know that students are learning?

As prepared adults, we engage our young people in reflection and dialogue to understand their strengths, areas for growth, goals, challenges, and aspirations for their learning.

This process is much more complex than simply giving students an exam and waiting for them to finish while scrolling on social media in the back of the room.

Thus, the shift in the role of the adult guide is from viewing student growth as individual knowledge and skills to supporting the whole person in all aspects of their development.

The Immeasurable, Intangible, Most Important Things

The concept of love and deep relationships cannot be measured.

We must shift away from the notion that anything worth doing must be measured and instead embrace the understanding that much of what is truly important in education, such as students' positive human development and holistic growth, is unmeasurable and unquantifiable.

Whenever we attempt to quantify something, we reduce it, stripping away the complex nature of its humanity.

Love that is forged between and among young people and their adult guides is something that must be lived and felt by both parties. When it is present, everyone will recognize it, and when it is absent, everyone will know it is not there.

It does not manifest suddenly; rather, it builds over time through small, often unnoticed interactions that hold significant meaning.

It’s what gives me hope for a future of human unity.

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Breaking the Paradigm is a division of Developing Education, which is on a mission to transform education globally to foster human development and flourishing for all people.

First Intention: Curriculum and pedagogy support for Montessori adolescent practitioners, specifically with math and language across the prepared environment.

The Enlightened Educator Project: Supporting educators with mindfulness and resiliency through professional development and downloadable resources.

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